another moral hangover. fuck.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
