its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
