I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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