I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
