i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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