ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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