You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
