They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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