You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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