So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
