My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Farmville is her only friend.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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