Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My breasts were aching with rage.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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