New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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