Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
