I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
