"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
