All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think i have herpe
just one?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize