you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
