oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
