so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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