I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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