Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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