Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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