So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
