Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
