The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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