We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
two words: eviction party
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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