Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
