Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
