Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
