I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
