Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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