Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
