He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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