She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im holly from the hills drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
