Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
