Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize