Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
