Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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