Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
