It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
