sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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