At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
