Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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