I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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