At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
