And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
