the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
