i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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