Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
