Define "chronic" masturbator.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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