The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
