She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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