Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
