Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
