just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize