I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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