unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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